On Thursday, it is entirely possible that I will be eating massive quantities of steak.

I love steak.

All kinds of steak.

As long as the steak is cooked medium-rare, I am usually pleased with the steak.

I have been especially happy with steaks from Texas Roadhouse, Omaha Prime and Outback.

I have not been happy with steak from Caniglia’s Venice Inn Italian Steak House, but that may have been just because the name was too long. I do remember thinking that the steak I had there was not very good.

Despite how good most steak is, you should be aware that steak does have limitations.

Steak cannot do the following:

• Kill Vampires
• Contemplate complex mathematical concepts
• Drive a John Deere tractor
• Power a Federation Starship
• Throw a 70-yard touchdown pass
• Expose Republican lies and propaganda
• Expose Democrat lies and propaganda
• Fire a handgun

Things steak CAN do:

• Be tasty
• Piss off vegans
• Make me a very happy man

Steak is wonderful.

Share on Facebook